May 7 - Tough Love

 Read today’s texts first: 2 Samuel 13,14; Matthew 24

MAXIMize YOUR DAY
We can’t let our children play hookey
from the school of hard knocks! 

Yesterday we talked about good friends who care so deeply for us that they are willing to challenge us when we go astray. Parents should fall into that category. The problem is, who doesn’t want to be the “cool” parents, the ones who are so chill that the kids want to invite their friends over. But to properly guide your children in the way they should go (Prov. 22:6), we will soon discover they don’t always want to go that way. The resulting clash of wills often ends with the child, or teenager, saying “I hate you!” That is not cool.

Tough love hurts everyone involved. I remember teaching my daughter’s Ladies Bible Study group about spiritual gifts. All of them were young mothers, and many of them had the gift of mercy. They instinctively wanted to alleviate their child’s pain, and if they were brave enough to try tough love, their own sensitive hearts would break when the child lashed out.

King David had a sensitive heart too (study his psalms and you’ll know that’s true). He also had a troubled family life, with too many competitive wives and lots of competitive children (1 Chron. 3:1-9). While that was the culture of his day, (and particularly true of kings), it was never God’s plan. He designed marriage with one man and one woman in mind (Gen. 2:24). While it is unfair to always blame parents when their children make bad decisions, we do get a sense that David pampered his kids. He certainly avoided confrontation with them over bad behaviour (eg. Adonijah – 1 Kings 1:6). The result - Amnon rapes his half-sister Tamar; her brother, Absalom, has Amnon killed, sleeps with his dad’s concubines, and then tries to usurp his throne; later Adonijah tries the same thing. Can you say “dysfunctional”?

David became stronger in his faith as he went through adversity. But his children played hookey from the school of hard knocks. Like David, if we coddle, appease, and excuse our kids, they can become spoiled and entitled. The judgments prophesied in Matthew 24 shows us that God is not afraid of attaching consequences to sinful behaviour. “Lord, help me to love my children and grandchildren the way you do, even in those tough moments when they may not love me back!”